Change that are made.

I spoke with Alice last night on the phone.  You know she always sounds so happy on the phone.  Well Irv told me he had carried the laundry into the bed room and she was putting things away.  lol Of course you never know where it might show up in the next day or two.

She sat down to talk to me and said she had a question that I might be able to help her with.  She had taken the buttons of her blouse and she didn't know how to get the spots off the front where they were.

That just happens to be the sweat shirt I decorated for her a few years ago.  It is in the picture she has on now for this photo.  I explained that she won't be able to get it off.  I had hot glued the dollies on the front then sowed the buttons on.  I asked her why she took them off and she said that she just wanted to try something new.  Not sure what she will do with it next. 

While I had called out I talked to Irv to see if he would look around for Tracy cooking magazine I brought out since I forgot to put it the bedroom I sleep in.  He said nope it is gone.  He laughed and said you know we go through this everyday.  You can't leave anything out as Alice either hides it or throws it away.

He said the day was going well so far and she had been calm.  Calm for her now is picking up lint, wiping the counters, cutting up trash .  She loves to cut any kind of box or paper into small pieces.  As for bread that is left on the counter she gets her handy dandy little scissors out and cut the end of the wrapper off just as close as she can so nothing is hanging out.  You can't hold up the bread to untwist the tie because it is so short. 

Before Alzheimer's she had always been neat and tidy with everything in it's place.  Now even more.  I brought her some candy when Iwent out Sunday and she moved the candy jar all around till she found the perfect spot and then checked with me to see if i thought it looked ok where she put it.  She always ask I think because she wants confirmation that she did it ok.

Well enough for this day.  I am sure there will be more to come.

Happy Days Beautiful Smile

Yesterday was a great day.  Alice came out with a smile on her face and was getting ready to go have her blood drawn.  Irv was taking her then going to stop by the store.  I asked him to pick me up something if he went to the grocery store.  No problem he said.  LOL  That's what you would think.

Well I didn't know it would cause a problem at the store with Alice.   He had gotten her a cart so she could ride and he said she seemed fine until he told her he needed to pick up something for me.  She said  "So now you are shopping for her"  he said Alice that is your sister, but it had already flipped her mood.  She got upset and got out of the cart and left it in line.  She went over to the greeter and stayed there.  Irv had to ride it and he said I don't need it.  He tried to get her to ride it out to the car with him and being the stubborn gal she has always been refused.  He said I am not going to take her again.  Of course he will.

That is how fast she changes and you never know what will make her act like a different person.  When she got back she had forgotten she was upset  and was fine when she came in the front room.

We can not keep her from bending over to pick up stuff on the floor .  We keep reminding her that she is not suppose to do that because she could lose her balance and fall.  She did not remember and Irv was in one chair and Dave was standing by the door and Alice saw a small piece of something (honey her eyes are perfect)  none of us see what she sees.  Well the point is she lost her balance and if David had not been standing near her and grabbed her shoulder she would have hit the coffee table and been on the floor.  She says Irv is always mad at her and just does not want her to do anything.  We talked with her and tried to explain we love her and just don't want her to fall.  She said I am glad to are telling me this now I will remember.  Let's see how many times have we gone through the same talk?  ummm maybe 100 times. 

Irv also has notes on the wall in the kitchen not to feed Mandy food as she has diabetes.  Again she says each time we catch her " I didn't know a dog could get a human disease".

If you are the type of person that hates to keep answering the same question over and over again living with an Alzheimer patient takes a lot of patience.  Remember when your kids were little and would ask questions over and over.  You got it.  This is the same thing.  Sooner are later your kids finely get it, but that will not happen with your loved living with Alzheimer's.

By the time I was getting ready to  leave Alice had already changed back in to the sweet loving person I always remembered.

You know none of us is perfect and we have said or done things that we might wish we could take back , but you can't do that.  You just have to try not do it again.  At least with Alice she does not remember those things.  I have seen her anger  times and I just pray that as the days go by they don't take over her daily life more than it does now.  I and the family go out of our way to make her have pleasant surroundings around her.  David has talked to me few times after Alice said things to me "Jessie you just have to have tough skin and let things roll off like a ducks back".  OK Quack  Quack!  lol

Well another day to come.

I never ever had that before.

Today was a good day to come visit Alice.  She had went to church then to the store with Irv.  I ask how church and she said good I think then asked Irv was church good?

This is a picture of Alice's daughter Julie taken when she was at home.  Now she is the mother of two.  I think her and her daughter gets their beauty from their mom.

I called to ask Tracy something and she said who was I talking to and I said my daughter.  She said we should meet.  I told her she had 4 kids and one on the way.  She went oh wow.  I would like to meet them.   Could I request them to come out and visit.  I told her I could, but I thought they were busy today.  I went ahead and called and left a message.  Tracy called back and spoke a little while then ask Tracy if she wanted to talk to the lady that was  here.  When we got off the phone she told Irv that Tracy was going to call to get an appointment to come out.  Irv laughed and asked are we taking appointments now? 

To funny Alice said she didn't have any underwear , but Irv said they washed and they were in her drawer. When he went to help her find some she had a pair of his briefs on.  She couldn't understand why they were so tight.

I brought a Tippon's Lemon Pie for Irv's birthday and made potato salad and baked beans.  Irv made the chicken.  It was a little tuff making the salad.  Alice kept going in and turning down the water.  When we sat down to eat she said she had never ever ate that kind of potato's.  Never had lemon pie it was good though.  Wow there are a few things I would like to forget, but not this way.  David peeled the potato's and eggs for the salad and said he had done that many times for his mom.  I thought it would bring back memories with Alice, but did not.

She was mixed up tonight and thought she needed to go back to her place for the night.  And wondered where the other lady was.  I told her again she would be staying here in her own home.  Irv came out of the bedroom and she asked him where he would be staying.  Here in our home he said.

You sometimes wonder how long you can put a smile on your face and tell her the same thing over and over again.  If you don't smile when talking to her she starts to get upset.  She really watches your facial expressions.

This evening she wanted Irv to take her down to our old neighborhood.  That is where she thinks I am living.

We were watching Grease this afternoon and she was moving her arms and hands and singing some of the words and making other's up.  She said music makes her happy.

She has to go tomorrow to have blood drawn and then will be back home.  I can only stay till the afternoon so we will see if she remembers who I am when she gets back home.

Just another day with my Sis, but am glad I am able to come out as often as I do.  Thank you Father for allowing me to be apart of Alice's life.

It is suppose to be raining tomorrow, so if it is not sunny I don't know how she will be.

Alice is in there I know it.

Wow I look at this picture of Alice and I didn't even remember how beautiful she was those many years ago.  Let's see Alice got married and had her first son Joe by the time she was 15.  That is unbelievable to be so young and a mommy.

Alice has been through so much in her life and to have her end up like this is sad and there is no way to reverse it.  You can't talk to anyone that either has someone in their family or know of someone that has it today. 

When I got up this morning and came out to the kitchen she was in some type of mood and I knew Irv was going to have a rough morning.She was angry at Irv and said she was just going to leave.  I told her it was to cold to go anywhere and she said I will where my coat.  I then tried to change the subject to more pleasant things and by the time breakfast was over she seem some better.  I think with the weather change because of the time change and the rain last night it didn't seem like morning.

By the time I was ready to leave she wanted me to stay.  She said she would really miss me.  Irv told me when she was angry at him that happens lots.  You just have to walk away.  Poor Irv he just can't walk away anytime .  I keep trying to get him to do something away from the house when I am there, but he says he is ok.  I worry about him.

I was with my grand children this evening and Jenna said it seems like Aunt Alice has a new day everyday and is someone different.  Kinda like that.  I will give her a call tomorrow and hope she is having a good day.

Question fo the Day. Where is It?

Aw this is my sister when she about 3 years old.  How very sweet she was from what I hear.  Today she is 74 and has the same smile.

Today started out great.  We went to Walmart to see if we could find the pillow to match the other one I got her.  Irv went one way and Alice and I the other way.  We found the pillow.  Yeah !!!!   Irv was on a mission to find a bone in ham and I just wanted to come on home.  Of course Alice likes to be with Irv and she went with him.  I am not sure what changed, but while she was out she forgot me.  She came in .  I said hi she said hi then asked who I was.  I told her I was Jessie and she said was I a family member.  I told her I was her sister and she said she was so glad we got to meet. 
Where had I been for so long.  I just said I had been around.  She said I was a nice lady and she was so glad we finally got to meet.  She was glad God made us sister's.  Irv came in from outside and she said Irv this is my sister.  Dumb look on his face lol and he smiled and said that is great.  She said she didn't know how I found her, but was so glad I did. 

So sad that the sister I grew up  does not remember it all the time.  Well not sad for her she is happy ,but sad for me.

Let's see I titled this Where is it?  How many times a day can you hear that question in a house where things keep getting hidden or just put up and can't find it again.  Alice lost her glasses, Irv lost his cake pan, she lost her candy, lost her PJ's, lost the pillows off the couch ......
Ok see what I mean.  When you live here you do a lot of hunting.  She will spend an hour cutting up a box before she will put it in the trash.  And that is a cereal box.  No matter how many times Irv says not to cut them up she sneaks in and cuts them up.  lol 

She was so glad they were able to live here in this house and glad that they started letting people move in.  This has been her home for 10 years.  Three times she put her hands to gether looked up to the sky and Thanked God for Irv that he was so good to her.  She saw David working on his car and did the same thing and asked God to help David get his car fixed.  Then she thanked God for our mom for having me.  She loves God and has not forgotten the most important person in her life.

Most of the time with just a little help she can remember her home address and phone number.  When I asked a nurse how she does that she said because it is in her mind since 10 years ago. 

It was cute tonight when David was going downstairs she was going into the other room and went to Dave and wanted a kiss.  She said your mommy needs a kiss.  I think Dave was a little embarrassed, but gave her a kiss.
She is so loving and wants to kiss all the time.  You know she is so thankful for any show of love.  I can just get her a soda and she keeps saying I am so nice.  She couldn't stop thanking me for cleaning her bathroom sink.  Irv had told her to go and sit down and leave it alone.  I told her I would go clean it for her.  When I came out I winked at Irv and said Alice and I had a secret.  I am so proud of Irv and David for doing all they do for her.  I appreciate Irv and Dave more than I can say. 

I guess I will sign off tonight and pray for a peaceful day tomorrow.

Lost in Wonderland

The night has ended for Alice.  We had a good day together.  She was so happy to get the new beaded eye glass holder that goes around her neck.  She kept saying how beautiful it was.  I told her that Pat made it  for her and she said she was going to have to thank her.  I called Pat so Alice could talk to her.  She kept telling her she loved it.  Not knowing who Pat was , but was thrilled.  She wanted her to come out with her husband and visit.  Pat told she had other plans and she would come out another day.  She kept think all day we were going to have company.

It does not take much to make her happy.  Her neighbor and my friend sent her a Christmas card with her three dogs on the front now Alice keeps it on her table in front of her plate so she can look at it all the time.  She is a dog lover for sure.  I let her talk to Linda as she wanted to thank her for thinking of her.  lol She tried to get her to come over too.

After dinner she started getting confused.  This happens in the evening most nights.  She keeps thinking she is working and she in not sure when she can get there.  I kept telling that she was retired now and can stay home.  It just did not sink in.  She thinks she needed to go somewhere else to sleep.  It is hard for her to understand she can stay here because it is her home.

I bought a Red pillow for the chair in her front room so I could put it behind my back.  She picked it out and I tought she would leave it alone and not hide it on me since she chose it,  but know way.  If I leave for more than 10 minutes she gets up and hides it.

I found it and put it on the couch so when I tried the pillow Irv bought because he couldn't find the one I brought out .  Wanted to see which felt better.  Today her mood changed and she loved the pillow and wanted another to match it.  I told her that we could go and look for a match tomorrow, but she wanted to do it today.   I told her I didn't have the money tonight and she said why not.  Duh what do you say.  She said she was going to check her purse.  Well she has  not had money in there for a long time.  Irv asked where she was and I said looking for money. He told her they don't use money.  They use a credit card.  A funny look again.  He said he would taker her tomorrow.  It is like a child that wants a toy.

Just before Irv came out of his office she said she needed to call her husband and find out when he was coming home.  She wanted to know where she would sleep.  I told with Irv her husband in their bedroom.  She wanted to know where that was.  Then she wanted to know if there was a bed big enough for two people.  Yep it is big enough for both of you.

She follows around after Irv  like she does not want to lose him.  When Irv had some surgery a  month ago I was really worried if he would have had to spend the night.  I was not sure what she would do.  Thankfully he did not have to stay.

I still don't understand what the Sun downers syndrome is.  It sure can change the moods of an Alzheimer's patient.  And it happens when the sun goes down.  Winter is not good.  It gets dark way to soon.   Just another thing to add to what else they have to go through.

I am thankful for our time together today and hope for a good day tomorrow.  AND Please have another  Red Pillow to match the one she wants.

PS:  Pat if you read this she does love the beaded chain you made, but she wants to take it off with her glasses and tries to hide it so no one can take it, but forgets where she puts it......She still has it and I know where she put it tonight.   lol.  It starts all over tomorrow.  Nite Nite.

A Happy Cook

I think Irv is in his happy place.  He sure comes up with new and different things to share with the family.  Alice in joys all that Irv makes most of the time.  Not sure what he is working on today.

Called Alice to see how she was I have a feeling from our conversation she was not sure who I was.  She was watching TV and talking with Irv and David.  She said no one was doing anything around there.

She told me she had pulled the blinds up in the front room because the dog is messing with the blinds.  She said it was the dog.  She couldn't remember it's name.  Mandy the little min pin could not reach the window.  She is old and sleeps most of the time and almost blind.  The cat Miss Kitty may have been trying to see out the window.  She didn't remember either of their names, but said it was the dog that was messing with the blinds.  She said pets are just like kids. 

Don't think there will be anymore snow tomorrow so I am going to go out after church and spend a few nights.  I am sure I will have some interesting things to share when I come back.

Hope my visit turns out to be good for all of us and I don't end up in Time Out.  I usually have to take a time out and leave the room so she can calm down as she gets upset sometimes when she does not get the answer she wants.  The good thing is it passes pretty fast because she forgets why she is upset.  Sometimes I would like to do that.

Here's to a great visit.

January 13, 2012 and it is still snowing,but not like in some places.

Surprise I got a call from Alice.  I heard Irv in the back grown so I think it may have been at his suggestion.  When I talked with her yesterday I told her if the weather was better I would be out after Bible Study. 

She always gets to the point right away.  No more Hi, how are you doing, what's going on .  She said I know you wanted to come out , but the weather is not good for you to get out.  You know if you didn't know she had Alzheimer's she would sound like herself worrying about others.  I have to thank Irv and David her son for helping her call.  David ask me if it bothered me her calling and I told him no.  Please help or remind her to call.  Brings back memories of long talks like before.

This picture is of me , Alice and my great grand son Easton.  She looks so good it makes my heart hurt to know there will be a time she will not be like this.  This is how I want to remember her smile.

This picture reminded me what she told me that day.  It is one of those funny moments.

I was talking to my daughter and she asked to talk to Aunt Alice.  Alice asked her what she was doing.  Tracy told her she was playing paper dolls and before she could tell that she was playing with her daughter she replied.  Thinking she was younger and not a mom she told how much fun that is.  She wanted to know what she was doing later.  Tracy told her she was having a friend over.  The next thing she said was is it a boy or a girl.  Tracy said a girl and Alice said " oh good your mom will be glad to hear that."   She then gave the phone back to me and when we got off the phone is when it got really funny.

We were sitting where others could hear us so I was trying to have her talk softly, but not a chance.  She said I would be glad Tracy was not having a boy over and was I glad.  I smiled and said you bet.  lol  She then said You know Boy's can be trouble because they have P---s and he could make a baby and it can be fun, but No. No. No.   I went and got her an ice cream cone and changed the subject. 

We don't always know what she is going to come up with or ask so we just try and guide some of what she is talking about to lighter things.  LoL  Chocolate will always do that.

Well just a new day in our lives .

A New Day Chatting on the phone.

Let's see today is Jan. 12th and I had thought about going out to be with Alice,but we got this beautiful snow.  Love the snow when it is not on the street or walkways.  LOL  Does not work like that.

This picture is a little old.  It was back in the summer when she broke her hip.  She sure Love's her man.  She even acts like they did when they were dating.  Well sometimes I have to  remind her that it is her husband.  Now that brings a smile to her face..
LOL (Now this is not PG)  When I told her he was her husband she got this little grin on her face and said "You mean I get to sleep with him"  OH Good.  Oh my we never know what she is going to say or remember.  You got to love her.

I had to settle for a phone chat with Alice.  She is always so sweet I can feel her smiling.  She loves to talk to you on the phone she just does not hold a long conversations anymore.  They are pretty short, but since you get the same questions I guess that is ok.  When she was her old self she could call and talk for an hour.  I sure miss that even though sometimes I was tired.  Now to late I wish she could do that again.  You know we never know what we miss till we don't have it anymore.

I said something about Tracy my daughter and she said she might call her sometime.  I don't think she will because she will forget once we are off the phone.  She did write her phone number down thouh.


She wanted to know if it was snowing down here and was excited it was .  She wanted me to come out, but didn't want me to get out in the snow.   She said she was busy around the house (not), but that is what she did all her life.  Busy, busy and busier.  She was glad Irv was home because of the snow.  He works all the time, but was off today.  Irv has been retired for 5 years now.  I think his job now is to hold things together at home and do what he loves most.  COOK.  He is one in a million and Alice even enjoys his cooking now.  No more complaining.  What a breath of fresh air.  Some good things come out of things that are so bad.

God is by our sides and when I see peace in Alice's eyes I am happy.

Jan. 2012

I should have started this last year,but like everything in my life right now I am always trying to catch up.  This is going to be about the love I have for my dear sweet Sister Alice.  The Alice in Wonderland is what she would always call herself when she would talk to my grand kids and even others.  So how appropriate is the name Alice in Wonderland.

Alice was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2009.  I knew there was problems before, but just thought she was getting more and more forgetful due to age.  I mean I forget and always have.  I kept noticing and so did my children Tracy and Daniela because they would call me and say they talked to Aunt Alice and she sure keeps repeating herself.

No one wants to believe that one of their loved ones has this awful life changing disease.  Her husband and son had an even harder time seeing this and wanted to believe it was just forgetfulness and if she worked hard at trying to remember she would be able to do that.  If we had known about it much earlier doing things to help the memory may have been more helpful in slowing it down, but not stop it.

So now I am just going to tell you about my sister before Alzheimer's struck.  Alice in a loving caring caretaker.  If you were sick she was right by your side.  If you just wanted to talk she was there.  If you wanted to have a good time and laugh your head off she could do that for you.  Alice was married and had her children.  Then she divorced and remarried about 25 years ago to her husband Irv.  She loved him dearly and he showed her how a wife, mother and friend should be treated.  Marriage is not always perfect, but Irv is her life.

When I was at the doctor with her the second time after she had been diagnosed the doctor said she was in the middle of the scale.  They have a scale of 1 through 30 and she was a 15.  She was on a medication and they started her on a second one to hopefully slow down the dementia.   She seemed to holding pretty well until she fell and broke her hip.  From then on she took a nose dive and I guess another plato. 

I know I have to keep good times in the four front.  The memories we are making now are different, but when we laugh and smile and talk I hold them in my heart.  She will talk about things I have forgotten .  She has good days and then their are those bad days.  You know how we put our kids in Time Out when they needed it?  Well I use Time Out for myself when Alice's mood changes to leave her site for a while knowing she will forget and be fine and like me again when I come out of of my Time Out.

I hope the pages I add to my Blog will help me and my family understand and even share .  I hope others also may read this and help them or even offer suggestions to stay calm, loving and strong.

I hope to share sad times, but mostly hope to share things that go on with my sister that will also put a smile on you face. 

The littlest things makes her happy.  CHOCOLATE!!!!!!    I always try and bring chocolate when I go out to be with her.  The funny is Wow this is good.  I have never eaten this before.  If it anything other than a Hershey Bar.

What ever God has planned for Alice I pray to understand and at peace with it.